Seeing In Shades of Grey

Thursday, November 10, 2016

A few months ago, my photographer asked me to model for a college project.  I was asked to tell a story through the lens of his camera…to portray brokenness, vulnerability,  and pain. Andrew did an amazing job with these photos.. and now, months later… they seem to tell my story. 

 Life has a funny way of knocking you to your knees… just when everything in your life seems so right.  A failed four year relationship has left me with so many questions about love and life in general.  

Although I haven’t found all of the answers, here is what I’ve realized. 
I have limited myself and those around me. I mean, most things are a thousand shades of grey and all I was focusing on was the black and white. Black and white thinking is when you believe something either has to be one thing or another; good or bad, right or wrong, all or nothing. You see...we live in a world where its so easy to categorize people and situations as either good and evil or black and white. Ive come to understand that life is all about the shades of grey. We are imperfect people... meaning he’s imperfect, I’m imperfect and our relationship certainly was not perfect. When we focus on the white, we set ourselves up for a lot of disappointment because fairytale relationships just do not exist. When we focus on the black, we become negative, judgmental, and suspicious… and who wants to live like that? 

I’m not going to pretend that Im ok.  The dark areas sometimes still creep in, leaving me feeling really bitter that four years of my life is now gone... or my head trying to convince my heart that he’s just a bad person.  But I’m determined to see this situation in a different light.  He is not a bad person and his mistakes do not define him. They also do not define me.  We are all children of God and God accepts him just as much as he accepts me… no matter the severity of our mistakes.  

 So learn to accept the imperfections in people, relationships, and in this crazy life that we live. Things are never either black or white. When you realize this simple fact, you free yourself from the prison of your mind. You learn to let go and accept the grey areas, instead of placing everything under “black” or “white” and “good” or “bad” labels. Learn to see below the surface in every situation. I will guarantee you.. you will not find a whole lot of black or white there. 
 I’m learning to accept my brokenness and I’m learning to be very thankful for the trials that God allows us to go through in order for our focus to be redirected back to Him. 

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  1. Absolutely love this. You have such a beautiful heart.

  2. It takes a special kind of person to still see the good in those that hurt us so deeply. You are beautiful.

  3. Love this reminder! thank you so much for opening up and sharing this. I can definitely relate, so it's nice to know that I'm not alone. But, I hate that you had to experience headache, pain, etc. And just like the to others said, you have a beautiful heart and it takes a lot to learn how to see the gray and to live in the gray area sometimes. Not everything is black and white...while we might not understand things in the moment, God's hand is always in the middle of every situation and ultimately knows what is best for us and the situation- whether its guys, health, friendships, family, etc. Thank you so much!